


Phil, The Great Cereal Thief

by eunoiannoying



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Sexual innuendos, cereal killer - Freeform, cereal raping, cereal thief, how do you even tag this work, i wanna make it as phil the great cereal killer but he didnt actually killed the cereal, idek, non incessant drilling, phil the great cereal thief, probably fluff idk, see what i did there? eyyyyy, what is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 05:34:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9585653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eunoiannoying/pseuds/eunoiannoying
Summary: That one time where Dan caught Phil stealing his cereal, and that same time where Phil comes up with a great comeback.





	

It's a perfectly nice day to wake up to - sun shining, birds chirping, no more incessant drilling, but the universe decides to take a dump on one Daniel Howell's head when he discovers...

"Oh gods- Phil! Stop! The cereal! Phil, you're killing my cereal!"

...that his flatmate is already out of bed, and is munching on his cereal.

"What? It's just a few... bites..." Again, Phil digs in, as if he's not killing Dan's cereal with his gigantic hands.

"No, Phil! You're tearing my cereal apart! Stop! Hand it over to me!" Despite being an inch smaller, Phil is able to keep Dan's cereal out-of-reach.

"Hand it over to me, Phil! My Crunchy Nut!" Dan cries out because he loves his Crunchy Nut.

"Don't worry, Dan-yul. I'll buy you another one..."

"And eat it all over again?! Phil! That's my cereal! Stop raping it! You're raping my cereal!"

"Don't say that! Besides, your cereal consented earlier, so it's not exactly rape. Wait, can't you see? Your cereal enjoys it! Very much, indeed!" He insists, but Dan just had enough of his gibberish. Again, he reaches out only to be stopped.

"Hey, it's just like you! ...Last night." Victorious and triumphant, Phil laughs as he chows down on Dan's cereal, while Dan stands there, mortified, with his hands covering his reddening face as he sputters on about unfairness and the curse of the universe.

**Author's Note:**

> Should I put an archive warning on this?


End file.
